[meteorite-list] OT: Some humor for your holidays

[Greg Hupe]

I like that one, Rob.

Santa does get lucky, he doesn't have to go through the TSA line and get one 
of the two choices; The Santa pat-down or scan-through...

And as Rob and others have cheered, "Happy 
Christmas/Festivus/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice to All!"... and all 
other Merry/Happy greetings around the world and beyond!!

Best regards,
Greg

====================
Greg Hupe
The Hupe Collection
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----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Rob Matson" <mojave_meteorites at cox.net>
To: <meteorite-list at meteoritecentral.com>
Sent: Thursday, December 23, 2010 8:37 PM
Subject: [meteorite-list] OT: Some humor for your holidays


> Hi All,
>
> At the slight risking of offending any Scrooges w/o a sense of humor,
> I forward the following Christmas observation.
>
> Happy Christmas/Festivus/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice to All!
>
> May Santa put a nice lump of coal (a CI/CO/CK/CM/etc. qualifies!)
> in your stocking...
>
> --Rob
>
> - - - - - -
>
> The Illegal Immigrant Amongst Us
> --------------------------------
>
> Every December 24, the illegal immigrant known as Santa Claus crosses
> the border without a passport, carrying concealed packages, which he
> presumably sneaks into the U.S. in order to avoid tariffs and inspection
> by Customs. What's really in that huge sack? Homeland Security has never
> asked and habitually turns a blind eye to this invasion!
>
> Look at how this international fugitive gets around: Santa Claus flies
> in a custom-built sleigh that hasn't been inspected by the FCC nor
> cleared by Air Traffic Control. He flies beneath radar and never files a
> flight plan. He has no pilot's license, and he flies in the dark of
> night with just one tiny bioluminescent red light to guide him - a clear
> violation of safety regulations!
>
> Imagine those pulling Santa's heavy sleigh: Eight tiny reindeer, a
> protected species being put to hard labor. None of these reindeer have
> their required inoculations, and Santa's never gotten these
> genetically-engineered animals registered and licensed. He keeps them
> penned outside his workplace in below-freezing temperatures, in a clear
> violation of animal protection laws. Where is the ASPCA while all this
> is going on?
>
> And the conniving, crooked Claus harms more than just animals; he's
> hurting hard-working people, too. "Santa's Workshop" is a clever
> cover-up for a sweatshop, where non-union employees make less than
> minimum wage and apparently get no overtime holiday pay. Add the fact
> that no one has ever been allowed to inspect the place, and it's obvious
> that you have a Third-World elf-exploitation operation.
>
> In addition, he maintains a data base of personally-identifying
> information about our children! Names, addresses, ages, photos,
> behavioral tendencies. Incredibly, parents appear to be complicit in
> perpetuating this cultural phenomenon; Child Protection Services has yet
> to be informed of these offenses.
>
> The bottom line is that Santa has been allowed to maintain a monopoly
> over a massive toy distribution industry; he's cornered the Christmas
> Eve gift market. Santa dares to give away his products for free in a
> sinister attempt to crush all competition - just like Microsoft's
> Internet Explorer. There has been no Antitrust Lawsuit, yet it's clear
> that Santa Claus is the "Bill Gates of Christmas."
>
> However, it might be tough sledding for Jolly St. Nick this Christmas,
> if someone points out this oversight to our legislators. After all,
> Santa Claus is honest, reliable, and gives us something to look forward
> to every December 25th. Considering the gifts bequeathed to us on April
> 15th, it's a Christmas Miracle that Santa's still in business.
>
>
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