[meteorite-list] The Most Interesting Meteorite Man in the World

[JoshuaTreeMuseum]

MikeG;  excellent comedic writing, funniest stuff  I've read in a long time.

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Instead of pumice, my wife prefers to use nakhlite to exfoliate her feet. So 
I'm down at the museum having the scientists cut a 400 gram block out of the 
back of the Lafayette meteorite for her, when lo and behold, I spot the 
world's first interstellar meteorite amongst the collection! The idiots had 
it mis-labeled as a brachinite. After running a few tests, I determined it 
originated in the asteroid belt of Proxima Centauri and was composed of pure 
compressed cosmic dust. When my wife mentioned she was bored with her 
regular mud pack of ground up Tagish Lake, the scientists insisted we take 
half of the proximite to replace it.  As we were leaving, a NASA guy gave us 
a multi-kilo basalt rock picked up by Neil Armstrong on the lunar maria to 
use in our aquarium. Then when I get home, I discover that the Danish 
National Museum had installed the Agpalilik in the lobby of my mansion. They 
explained they just had it sitting around outside and thought it might look 
nice in my home, which is constructed entirely of NWA meteorites, each one 
individually shaped by an Amish master stone cutter.

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Phil Whitmer