[meteorite-list] The Most Interesting Meteorite Man in the World

[John L]

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!


My life is now complete---I'M not the only one.

John




----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Michael Gilmer" <meteoritemike at gmail.com>
To: <meteorite-list at meteoritecentral.com>
Sent: Wednesday, January 26, 2011 9:12 PM
Subject: [meteorite-list] The Most Interesting Meteorite Man in the World


> Greetings List Members,
>
> Having just returned from hunting meteorites in Antarctica (in my
> shorts), I thought I would share some of the things that make me - The
> Most Interesting Meteorite Man in the World.
>
>
> I once came home empty-handed from meteorite-hunting, just to see what
> it felt like.
>
> Rare Earth magnets are attracted to me.
>
> My silver tongue sets off metal detectors.
>
> All of my finds are fully crusted and oriented.
>
> Museum curators give me their keys.
>
> My visual pairings are as accurate as an electron microprobe.
>
> Every meteorite in my collection is a main mass.
>
> If a meteorite from Venus is found, NonCom will name it after me.
>
> Property owners knock on my door after a meteorite fall.
>
> All of my meteorites have a pleasant aroma.
>
> Meteoriticists ask for my opinion.
>
> If you find a meteorite while hunting with me, it will always be an 
> achondrite.
>
> The Smithsonian has me on speed-dial.
>
> I can identify minerals and phases at a glance.
>
> All of my meteorwrongs turn out to be new types of meteorite.
>
> NASA's Johnson Space Center allows me to handle all of their
> meteorites with bare hands.
>
> I have never lost a meteorite auction, and I never pay too much.
>
> My touch removes caliche.
>
> The meteorites I traded away are rusting, because they are sad and miss 
> me.
>
> Every year, a meteorite falls on my birthday.
>
> All of my export permits are approved instantly.
>
> I have memorized every Meteoritical Bulletin.
>
> If I witness a fireball, I can calculate exactly where the meteorite will 
> fall.
>
> My glasses are cross-polarized.
>
> My touch will etch a polished iron.
>
> I could have bought Meteor Crater, but I am waiting for a new one.
>
> Harvey Nininger had a tattoo of me.
>
> My chessboard is a slab of Esquel pallasite and the pieces are
> polished lunaites.
>
> All of my pets can find meteorites.
>
> "No Trespassing" signs make an exception for me.
>
> More will be forthcoming, but right now, I am thirsty....
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Mike Gilmer - Galactic Stone & Ironworks Meteorites
>
> Website - http://www.galactic-stone.com
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> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
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