[meteorite-list] Andromeda Strain Infects the List - Outsiders Beware!
Galactic Stone & Ironworks
meteoritemike at gmail.com
Fri Jul 17 20:09:38 EDT 2009
I would just like all of the newcomers and interested parties who are
reading the recent messages on this List to be aware of a few facts.
These facts may have become clouded or forgotten amidst all of the
ruckus, so I want to do what I can to ensure that everyone reading the
List today understands the full context of this situation.
1) The List is not usually like this. In fact, the List is usually a
intellectual utopia where reason and good-natured debate rule the day.
The recent hostilities seen on the List were caused by an outbreak of
Andromeda Strain disease. This Andromeda outbreak has been traced
back to a contaminated bowl of vegetarian chili that Mike Farmer and
Steve Arnold shared on a double-date with two unknown Swiss
undergraduates. The Andromeda strain then spread to various parties
in the meteorite world by hitching a ride on specimens that were
contaminated by Farmer and Arnold handling them. Carl Esparza caught
it while visiting Farmer and sharing beers while watching re-runs of
Good Times on late night cable. From there, the outbreak spread like
wildfire, infecting numerous people on the Meteorite List.
2) The symptoms of Andromeda Strain infection include - paranoia,
belligerence, confrontational behavior, increased blood pressure,
expedited carpal tunnel syndrome (from excessive typing), and verbal
diarrhea. The is followed by fits of crying, gnashing of teeth,
self-flagellation, and then finally a general malaise. Acute cases
can involve a progressive madness that leads to the infected patient
wandering around in the desert looking for rocks - this can cause
dehydration or even death.
3) The only cure for Andromeda Strain is a stiff dose of Knob Creek
Kentucky bourbon - straight over ice in a glass vessel. This remedy
is now being circulated to infected members of the List. Your
individual FedEx tracking numbers will be email to you - so you can
sign for your remedy package.
4) On the behalf of the infected members, I would like to apologize to
the healthy members of the List and those outside observers who are
watching this outbreak in action.
Best regards,
MikeG
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Michael Gilmer (Florida, USA)
Member of the Meteoritical Society.
Websites - http://www.galactic-stone.com and http://www.glassthrower.com
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