[meteorite-list] Re: Santa Physics Concerns

[MexicoDoug at aol.com]

Hola Martin, List,

Santa is actually a  legendary relic left over from a long defunct and 
technically advanced and  space-faring population.  As what happens with linguistic 
drift with races  of people more concerned with war, he originally was called 
T-NASA in a great  near-Utopian society, and utilized propulsion technology 
that had him smoking  along and glowing a bright cherry-red.

Unfortunately, that society which  developed the wonderful technology was 
annihilated due to a tiny bit of faulty  DNA which prevented social cooperation 
among neighbors when their backs were  turned, and the ensuing fallout of the 
destruction left the new ignorant but  generally lovingly meek and innocent 
race thinking that the T-NASA technology  (Now called Santa by a permutation in 
the long now long extinct language of  reverse Pig-Latin spoken by the original 
aggressors.)  Santa's red suit,  white adornment and beard are easily 
understood by meteoriticists as a glowing  metallic ship with the ablation particles 
streaming behind appearing to be a  beard and other fluffy stuff around the 
glowing mass.  That is why Santa is  always represented as fat in innocent 
youngster's sketches, because he is the  main mass of the masses in spirit, and 
several listmembers already caught on as  to why reindeer can have a red 
glowing-re-entry oriented nosecone, reindeer of  course being linguistically 
equivalent to over the ages to "T-NASA Rain, dear",  when husband and wife alike 
commented to their dears, of the literally rain  happy spirits (and now presents) 
above since to a mere mortal unbeliever it  simply appears to be a rain of 
presents since it all happens almost in an  instant.

Over the years, our race has risen from those innocents, though  there have 
been some issues with bad DNA, in general we have done OK, and not  lost the 
spirit of appreciation of things that fall from the sky, occasionally  hammering 
chimneys, which explains the fixation many have on meteorites, hammer  stones 
and an occasional spanking for bad boys and girls on Christmas  night.

Anyway the time approaches for the annual celestial event where  all of earth 
becomes the strewn field, and good boys and girls will now find  meteorites 
falling down their chimneys, the smart ones, putting shock absorbing  stockings 
to catch them before the impact the floor and damage the otherwise  perfect 
fusion crusts everything has its function in a nice  tradition.

Don't forget to leave cookies and milk, they are really used  as mortar 
(a.k.a. the necessary dough) to bake a nice ablation resistant  treat-ment for the 
red nosed T-NASA stuff. And that is why some people thing the  cow jumped over 
the Moon, because of the slingshot effect used by T-NASA (OK,  Santa) with 
the milk and cookie anti-ablation coating before each reentry and  fall as Santa 
technology is Lunar-centric and utilizes the rotation of the earth  in one 
day to share all of the happy spirits.

A good activity for  children after the joyful eve is to collect dust, run a 
magnet through it to  remove all the meteoritic material, which will leave 
some magical powder which  is actually Lunar grains swept up by Santa 
anti-ablative technology and sticking  momentarily to the to the dough (a.k.a., manna) 
before raining, dears, down from  the heavens. 

There, I hope that was clear enough...
Some nice German  sent me the references:
1. "Miracle on 34th Street"
2. "Star Trek": "The  Omega Glory"
3. "The Handbook of Iron Meteorites" by Vagn F.  Buchwald

Saludos, Doug

Martin H. wrote:
For purposes of  comparison, the fastest
man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a  poky 27.4 miles
per second, and conventional reindeer can run at best 30  miles per
hour.